My Christmas Present
My English teacher Miss Xuan gave me a box as Christmas present the evening before Christmas Eve. When I opened the box,A beatiful Santa Claus appeared before my eyes. He is 14 inches high. He has a smiling and kind face.There is a straight nose above his red month.He has a pair of glasses over his nose.He grow a white long curl beard . He wears a red hat , red suit and black shoes.There is a bell in his right hand and a green present bag in his right hand. Near his shoes there is a switch. Push the switch to turn it on, his face becomes sparkling and he sings a good music.At the same time his hands wave, the bell rings and present bag shakes.
My teacher said because I study English very hard , she give me this lovely present. It is my most beautiful Christmas present.I like it very much.
Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do. The shrink said, "Since Christmas is coming up, you should ask Johnny what he wants Santa to bring him. If he cusses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop in place of the gift or gifts he requests."
Two days before Christmas, Johnnys father asked him what he wanted for Christmas.
"I want a damn teddy-bear laying right beside me when I wake-up. When I go downstairs I want to see a damn train going around the damn tree. And when I go outside I want to see a damn bike leaning up against the damn garage."
Christmas morning, Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a pile of dog poop. Confused, he walked down stairs and saw another pile under the tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog poop by the garage.
When Johnny walked back inside with a curious look on his face, his dad smiled and asked, "What did Santa bring you this year?"
Johnny replied,"I think I got a dog but I cant find the son-of-a-bitch!
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